Run, Fat Girl! Run!

I’ve been fat for as long as I can remember…

“You’re not fat!”

Thank you Captain Interrupter. As I was saying I’ve been fat as long as I can remember. When I was about 7 or 8 years old I went to summer camp where this little shi- er boy used to tease me because of my weight. This made me very upset so I went to snitch on him.

“So?” The teacher replied.

“…so?” I repeated, dumbfounded.

“So you’re fat. So what? You’ve got plenty of other good things about you and fat is just a describing word, it’s not bad. Just sit on him.”

“Do what?”

“You said he called you fat, right? Show him how fat you are by sitting on him.”

I sat on him and never really had a problem with self image again.

This is not where this post ends though. I am now 24 and still happily rotund as well as devastatingly cute, witty, clever and most importantly modest. Thigh gap? More like Thigh Clap amIrite? Cleavage like the Grand Canyon, majestic, beautiful and everyone should get to see it at least once. And they don’t call them love handles for nothing, ya heard?

But now that I am officially embarking on a role into healthcare, I have a moral dilemma. See, a big part of working in healthcare involves advocacy. I am the voice of the patients but I am also the advocate of healthy lifestyle choices, and I have to marry the two to promote service user health. In layman’s terms, I don’t want to tell someone’s kid that they’re fat and need to lose weight if I’m unable to run for a bus without my life flashing before my eyes… and missing the bus.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I know I’m under no obligation to lose weight to work for the NHS, nor am I under the impression that you have to be rail-thin to be fit and healthy. In fact, other than the cold I’ve got right now, I’m really healthy. I’ve spent more time in hospitals as a member of staff than I’ve ever been as a patient. And this isn’t about looks either. My hips don’t lie about their curves or their calorie intake.No, I just want to be able to race a patient up some stairs if they ever imply that I am not the best source of information for healthy lifestyle, and win.

And so I began to challenge myself. My first challenge was to cancel my gym membership. Counterintuitive I know, but I was paying £20pcm to go sweat on a machine while skinny, pretty people pose in front of the mirror (Get out of my way, I’m trying to do squats. Go “stretch” somewhere else).

My second challenge was to do burpees for charity (which I did, thanks to all who donated!!). And now I’m training for my first ever 5km. Now, I hate running. I abhor it. I loathe it. I jiggle and I wobble like a particularly mobile plate of Jello and it’s simply the worst. But I am stubborn as all get out and I’ve always wanted to run the London Marathon, so I figured I should start training now so that I’m running ready by 2018. I also love doing things for charity and most races are for charity, so I figured I might as well combine the two. So I started with Couch to 5K and it’s working… I guess?

On the one hand I am on week 8 (out of 9) and I haven’t been able to run 5km in 30minutes. On the other hand I’ve gone from covering 1.5km in 30mins to 3.5km in 30 and that’s one hell of an improvement for someone who’s getting exhausted just looking at the GIF above. My legs are slowly but surely getting less wobbly and I’m no longer winded when I run for the bus. These things may sound small to you, but to someone like me, who used to hide during PE class and get “participation” medals at sports day because they don’t give “last place loser” medals to kids, this is pretty massive. I’ll be hopefully running the Colour Run this year (if I can convince GC to do it with me, all the more fun!) and I’m slowly but surely getting to the point where I can run without dying! I might even add extra exercises and eat vegetables! Who knows??

…Actually let’s not be too ambitious.



6 thoughts on “Run, Fat Girl! Run!

  1. Mariam Bashorun says:

    You have me chortling at my desk like a loon! Love the post. I’m no fitness fan, I loathe the gym and I believe you should only run when you are being chased. Having said that I’m trying to get on the fitness track so I’ve started to do these 4 minute high intensity work outs every morning and it’s not too bad (mostly because it so deliciously short). Not sure it’s actually doing anything but hey I’m trying.

    Liked by 1 person

    • geekypudding says:

      High intensity training is supposed to be amazing but it looks terrifying to me haha! Good luck, I think it’s the trying that’s most important anyway. We can’t all look like Serena.


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