Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

Sex is weird.

It’s yo thang, do what you wanna do

Ok well sex isn’t weird in and of itself. It’s one of the methods of propagating a species and it’s pretty fun too. What I mean is people’s attitude to sex is weird.

The morality and personal attributes we attach to sex based on our culture, religious upbringing and history is so tangled up and messy considering it’s ultimately a act between 2 people minimum that has been done since the beginning of time. It’s something science and religion agree on. Not to blaspheme, but God said “be fruitful and multiply” not “asexually bud off your offspring from an extra limb”. That begatting came from somewhere, right? And the atheist crowd, you know our ancestors shacked up not just with other Homo sapiens but with the Neanderthal crew and a bunch of other ancient humanoid species that we keep on finding more about. So we know sex is a thing right? Our parents did it (ew), our grandparents did it (ew ew) and we’re probably gonna do it (if we haven’t already). So why do we define the worth of a person so much on something that’s pretty much a given?

I see sex as something pretty similar to exercise. Other than a fun way to get sweaty, it’s something that most people have done at least once, some people don’t do it as much as they’d like you to think, and if you’re not safe with it, you might be off your feet for about 9 months. Oh, and there’s a lot more self-help books on it than there probably needs to be. Feel free to run with that metaphor in any direction you choose.

Hopefully not in this direction cuz this is just weird

And yet the stigma is there. One that really doesn’t help anyone. When it comes to being a woman, there doesn’t seem to be any winning. According to some people, you’re uncool up until you have sex in which case you’re instantly a dirty whore. Others say you’re pure and precious until you have sex in which case you’re tainted goods. Still others say that you are only liberated when you have sex, and you are oppressed if you’re holding onto your V card. The solution, ladies, is to somehow have sex but only on the terms of whoever’s dictating these rules. Sex police… but not sexy. Ok.

It doesn’t really help men either. If women are whores for having sex, and being gay is “gross”, but the only way a guy is considered awesome by his peers is if he had sex, who is he meant to have sex with? I mean there are… toys… available, but somehow I don’t think they count. Prostitutes? No, they’ve got a raw deal too. (One of the oldest professions and it gets treated like crap, but that’s a rant for another day). How do you measure the worth of a man on something that isn’t even exclusive to our species? Well, some people say that you measure it by being pure as well. Which, um, ok. Maybe we should measure the worth of a man by how he treats others, not by how many notches there are in his bedpost.

And while we’re on the subject of LGBT+, why is some sex considered no way (G) but others considered a-ok (L, but only if it’s for entertainment purposes)? Why does B mean promiscuity? That’s like taking a vegetarian and a meat-eater to a buffet, right? Just cuz the latter has more choice in what they can eat doesn’t mean they’ll actually eat more. Fair enough if your ancient book tells you that it’s wrong, but from what I’ve read, the ancient book says a lot of things are wrong… and it also says to be nice to people. Mistreating people on something that they can’t even control isn’t really following your book.

Say it louder for the people in the back

I think that it’s ok to have your own views on how you conduct your bedroom (or living room) (or local public park). I don’t think that it’s ok to extend those views over a group of people to make yourself seem superior. Whether you do your ‘exercise’ alone, with a companion, hell even in groups, it’s your business and no one else. Do your thing, dude/ette. Do it safe, do it consensually or don’t do it at all.

Just don’t do it in front of me alright? Pretty sure that’s illegal or something.

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